When i die

I just received word that a friend passed away. But the reason for that being my subject now is that while on my drive home from a meeting of Richland's library building committee I was pondering the quotations about philosophy we considered placing on the library's entry wall.
“Study widely before exiting life.”
As I left the parking lot I cut too sharply and in such a hurry that my rear tire thumped over the curb. I wondered if the driver in the fast traffic behind me shrugged over my sloppy exit. I had to turn at the next corner and that car behind me had little warning.
Exit. There was the noun again. My brain insisted on dwelling on that word. Of course I would eventually exit. This world. My life. Everyone does sooner or later. And I immediately determined that when I did I wanted to go out alone. That is, without taking some other beings with me.
I know that sounds morbid but just think. Drivers fall asleep. Sick people have heart attacks while driving. In both cases occupants of the oncoming cars are unsuspecting losers. When I go I prefer to be completely alone so as not to take others with me.
Nancy once wrote that people had unused brain parts of which we are unaware. Was this part of my brain preparing me for my friend's death announcement to come? Her exit and my obsession with the word are otherwise totally unconnected.
Naomi Sherer