Salmon River Gazette: Fishing Report

Where are the

Fishing Reports?

On March 2, 1998 (Dr. Seuss' birthday) I received this piece of hate-mail:

        It is very apparent that you are a left wing democrate 
        and you are doing what you left wings do best is turning 
        a fishing paper into a politcal soapbox just to voice 
        your stupid opion. If I wanted to hear your left wing bull 
        I would turn on CBS. I am hear to read about fishing and 
        nothing else. What,s the matter you can,t come up with new 
        fishing ideas so you need to turn to politics. 

        All you left wings stink.

All the spelling, grammatical and punctuation errors are exactly as the disgruntled author sent them. There are over ten mistakes in this small missive. How many of them can you find?

The author didn't have the courage to sign his/her name but I can tell from server-logs that they came from the New Jersey / New York area.

This really amuses me, and I wasn't at all sad to receive it. I have never promoted this website as a fishing magazine. There are no stories about how to catch more fish. Nothing about tackle or the latest lures. No descriptions of various species of fish. There aren't even any recipies for preparing fish! Oh sure, occasionally my brother will mention how the fish are biting, but isn't everybody entitled to make idle conversation?

After I got done laughing at this fool's rant, I scanned the logs to see what s/he read on our site. As it turns out, s/he accessed the February newsletter and an opinion poll about the current Kenneth Starr witch-hunt. I shudder to think what s/he would have said if s/he had visited our political commentary section or my column on Mallard Fillmore, the "dirty-duck"!

And so dear reader, I must say right here,
If you came seeking fishing advice, FLEE NOW!
Staying here and reading the content might expand your mind, or expose you to other view-points.

If your closed-mind gets accidentally opened,
you may not be able to close it again!

Last Modified: Sunday, 29-Feb-2004 01:22:46 EST