Great news for Vice-president Gore! Turns out George Junior won the Iowa "Straw-Poll" yesterday. Is that great or what? Bush looked like a real contender.
Oh, are you confused? Sorry. It turns out that the non-binding, "pay-to-vote", straw-poll has an absolutely perfect record of NEVER picking the winner. So, if the luck of the Iowans (or should I say "the curse"?) holds true, Bush can kiss this election good-bye. Hello President Gore!
Seriously though, I'm a little bummed about Quayle showing so poorly. He got less than 4% of the vote. I think President Clinton got a real boost from running against Quayle and I was hoping for the same springboard for Al Gore.
As it shakes out, Quayle came in 8th out of a field of 12 candidates. He finished right behind Alan Keyes. Mr. Keyes is even LESS electable than Danforth Quayle (if you can believe it!), but still managed to garner nearly 10% MORE votes than the former VEEP. To add insult to injury, Mr. Keyes was the only candidate with the integrity to NOT purchase his votes! That's right, to vote for Alan Keyes, you had to pay the $25 out of your own pocket. All the other wanna-bees purchased the votes for anyone who showed-up and promised to vote for them. More people in Iowa will PAY to vote for a black republican than to cast a free vote for the former "Imperial Caddy." Oh, stop. My sides are aching from the laughter.
The saddest slap of all is probably the eight votes that Bob Smith garnered.
Bob is the doofus who dumped the Republican party because they weren't EXTREME
enough for him. Uh huh, you read that right. Some Republicans were starting
to see the light and be reasonable about abortion, guns, equal rights, etc.
(not that much, mind you, just a little). But it sent Bob over the edge. He
spit on the people who worked so hard and spent so much to get him elected.
They paid him back with 0.003% of the ballots! That's a bigger percentage than
he'll be receiving in the electoral college. Hell will freeze over if he carries
even one state. Did you know that in his home state his popularity is in single-digits?
Run Forrest Bobby, Run!