Cute Babies

 

A current theory that is widely accepted enough to be used by credible popular science shows is that babies are cute so to encourage us to take care of them. This is apparently something that somebody liked the sound of, then elaborated on until it sounded like a well-established theory rather than a grad student's creative attempt to find a subject for his thesis.

So let's think about offspring in general first. Insect parents are often dead and eaten before junior hatches so not much ugly baby selection in that species. Turtles lay their eggs and scoot away never having to face the fact that their young will never bother to invent mirrors. Spiders hang around until the eggs hatch, but even if the little ones are ugly, they might make a good meal for mom and dad if they aren't quick enough. I guess you could say that spider babies run to discourage mom from eating them. In short, species babies that have ignored their appearances need to evolve in other creative ways to survive.

Now for the cute species. Baby bears are cute, but not cute enough for papa bear. He will kill them if they cross his path. Teddy bears might look cuddly, but these cantankerous omnivores just can't be courted. Mama bear puts up with her cubs for a year or two, but they better never darken her doorstep once they go through those awkward adolescent years.

Female cats sometimes eat their kittens. I've not only seen it happen, but have been informed that it happens enough that it doesn't surprise cat owners. But what could be cuter than a baby kittens? On the other hand, nothing is more disgusting than a newly hatched bird. For weeks they look like evolution's mistake, but parent birds don't abandon the nest. They actually put food in those gaping beaks. I cannot imagine why they bother. Perhaps the 'cheeps' are cute enough to encourage care. I'm not sure on that since I don't have much of a sense for what makes a pretty bird sound.

But let's get to the topic of human babies. First, are they really cute? Not for the first week or so. How often do daddies hold the trembling bundle and wonder if it is really cute enough to keep? More often than we would like to admit. If you look at a newborn from a beauty standard, they wouldn't last long enough to get cute. If we protected them based on the way they look, extinction ensues. After a few weeks of getting used to their big heads and wiggly fingers, we start to think of them as cute. The medical term for this is bonding. We fall in love with them even though they are still months away from pudgy cuteness that current theory claims is how they survive. But the catch is, being an ugly baby doesn't prevent bonding. Maybe knowledge that they will soon look like other babies makes us think we've waited nine months, maybe we can wait a few more. Some babies never cute it up, but still we protect them.

Nancy Sherer

 

 


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