Up, Down, Turn Around

I wonder if there is anything more aggravating than watching other people do yoga. The unspoken accusation of “you could do this if you weren't so lazy” is implicit in every position.
What? You can't touch your nose to your knees? You could if you practiced yoga. You can't lift your legs into the air and bend until your feet are flat on the floor next to your ears? It really isn't that hard, you just have to try a little bit every day. You can't touch the floor with your fingertips? Even if you bend your knees? Hmm.
On the other hand, I enjoy the feeling of yoga stretches. I have to ignore the terminology though because it is pretty silly to name positions 'down dog' or 'warrior' or 'scorpion.' Even funnier, are terms that haven't exactly been translated, but are pronounced with the unmistakeable American drawl. Words like 'chataronga,' which lingers in that place above the tongue and between the teeth before being breathed into sound waves. It's a push up. Just call it a push up.
How about 'nam-a-stay?' I know there is an American way of spelling it that leaves it unpronounceable, but I'm not going to look it up because it is silly. I'm not sure that it really means anything specific anyway. It's both 'howdy' and 'good bye' at the same time. Like 'aloha' but without the intentional, underlying humor. Yoga language is a good reason to just stretch.
I live in a climate that makes outdoor yoga impractical. Which is too bad because nothing makes onlookers feel more like lazy slugs than public yoga. I do my stretching in the living room in front of the picture window so everyone passing by can observe my sanctimony.
I used to plug in a video so I could work through a routine, but I've decided it is a lot more fun to do the stretches that I'm good at. And I really can't think of a single reason why I would want to touch my nose to my knees. I've reduced a half hour yoga practice into a series of stretches that feel really good. I also don't do that long breathing that yoga promotes. Inhale, exhale, get it over with. It makes me feel great afterward. You could do this.
Aloha!
Nancy Sherer